I Didn't Introduce Myself
by nvzblgrrl
Summary: One-Shot. After the events of the Mystery Of Mamo, Inspector Zenigata and an unnamed man meet in a bar and thought-provoking conversation/confession takes place. Based on a fridge moment concerning self-inserts.


**I was thinking about one of my longer fanfictions and just the general idea of self-insert characters when I ran into a disturbing implication.**

**The self-insert, at least in the typical 'fell into their favorite story' format, have a certain similarity to stalkers. They know all these things about characters, their height, their weight, their favorite food, their preferred brand of cigarette, ****et cetera, ****et cetera… and the characters have no idea who this person even is and how they know all of these details.**

**It's kind of terrifying.**

* * *

Inspector Zenigata limped into the bar, rolling his shoulder to try to get that persistent catch out of it. Lupin had escaped, whatever he was messing with had been launched out into space, he had quit his job with the Tokyo police, he had almost gotten blown up by trigger-happy Americans, his wife was leaving him… honestly he deserved a drink by now. More than one, considering the fact that there wouldn't be anyone at home to catch him weeping over the porcelain goddess anytime soon.

He sat down at the main bar, next to a kid who barely looked old enough to shave, let alone old enough to legally drink the glass of whiskey that was in his hands. He was thin, pale, and wearing a cheap black vinyl coat that, overall, gave him the look of a half-drowned modern Hamlet, if Hamlet had been a cross-dressing girl. He didn't touch his drink, instead opting to stare into its amber depths as if some answer would bubble up and dissipate into nothing if he looked away for a half second.

"Something on your mind?" Zenigata finally asked after turning over his third emptied glass.

The young man turned away slightly, with an ashamed look on his face. "You could say that." He said.

The inspector turned away from his own empty glasses. "Something you need to get off your chest?"

A defeated sigh. "Yes."

Zenigata shrugged. "Well, I'm sitting here and I don't have a job or family to go to at the moment, so try me. Trust me, I've stepped in shit heavier than you'll ever see on tape."

"I'm… I was going to do something stupid. Something reckless and callous." The man said, the guilt of whatever it was that he almost did positively dripping from his every pore. "I thought it wouldn't hurt anything, but I started thinking about it."

"Give me some backstory, kid; I can't make bricks without clay."

The boy ran his hand nervously through his hair, brushing it away from his face hurriedly, as if some invisible parent was snapping at them to look halfway civilized. "I… I studied these people. It was the only thing that kept me sane. I read everything about them, what they did, what they liked, what they hated. I watched every minute of video, every second of audio… I felt like I knew them, better than I had known anyone else." He hunched over, clinging to his untouched whiskey like a lifeline. "And when I got the chance to meet them, I jumped on it. I didn't hesitate because with those people, I felt like I was safe, like I belonged somewhere."

The inspector's expression hardened. Stalking was hardly a minor thing, even if it was rarely treated seriously by most police departments.

The man continued speaking, his voice twisting in his throat. "But… I realized something between here and there. They didn't know me, my face, my likes, my dislikes. They didn't realize that I even exist. And they were happy like that. There wasn't some hole in their group waiting for me to stitch myself in. That was all in my head. They were perfect. And I'd just be some weird stalker, knowing things that no-one had a right to know. And I… I didn't want to be that kind of thing. I don't want to be some boogieman that people check under their beds for at night." The boy sucked in a breath, composing himself before standing up and bowing politely. "I'm sorry for wasting your time with my issues, Inspector." He said quickly, before quietly leaving the establishment.

Zenigata considered the abandoned whiskey for a moment, before blinking. "I don't remember introducing myself…"


End file.
